Thursday, December 16, 2010

She.

She held me. The one i've loved for the better part of a year, she held me.

Her arms so caring, so careful.

Her face rested beside mine, her arms wrapped around me from the back.

I tilted my face against her neck, listened to her even, lovely breaths, her heart, the perfect time it kept. My warm cheek rested in the middle of her cool collar bone.

It felt so good, so real.. such a thing i never dream.

What broke me was to wake and realise none of it was as it was for me.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The wind still screams.

And so, i have had another dream i wish to write down.

--


Most of this dream baffled me, and so i have let it slip my mind. But what i do remember are the twisters.

I stand out front of a house on Wildor Cresent and it begins to rain. There are conversations going on behind me, people are worried for some reason. But i ignore them. I watch the rain for a while. The sky grows darker, the rain heavier and the wind stronger.

As i continue to look out, directly in front of me, forms a twister. It does not look normal, not like in the movies or photos. It is perfectly round, with bigger whisps of wind flowing from it. Its also twinged blue. Its quite a few kilometres from me, across the river in fact. Situated in the suburb where a few of my friends live.

As i watch, it disappears again. And one to either side of me form, both in suburbs my friends live in. Ant then more pick up. In places or around where yet more of my friends live.

I then turn to point these twisters out to whom is behind me, and we decide we must move to somewhere underground. I point out my old school, of which has plenty of underground hideaways.

And i wake up.


--


What strikes me is the fact i wanted to go to this school that has more buildings above than below. We would have died. The whole building would have come down on top of us.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Their Graves

So i dont remember all of this dream.. but i am frightened of one part.



The image burned into my mind, the one thing i cant get out of it is the picture of two graves in front of me.

It was in a seperate garden of sorts, off to the side of where we were living.

Two graves, both with huge slabs of cement over them. Sort of like flat tombstones. They had simple two names engraved, one on each.

To the left was a close friends, which is scary enough. To the right is my own. Our full names carved into the grey stone in gold letters. The bad part is, my friend whom was mean to lie in the grave beside mine was standing in front of it like i myself was standing in front of mine. Both graves were empty. They were ready. And im not even meant to be put into a coffin. Im meant to be cremated.



Ah!!

Friday, June 18, 2010

What happens in the snow...

Now this.. this really had my heart going.

------------------------------------------------------


Close friends birthday, she decides she will take me and her bf to the snow. the night goes wonderfully. we start drinking.. more giggles, more smiles. we move to a cabin with a huge log fire and a lounge at the furthest end. they both move to the sofa, im sent to get more drinks. i come back to them full on making out. for some reason my heart lurches.. but i recover quickly, "ignoring" them and moving to a table to put the drinks down.

I turn and shes moved, shes now sitting on his legs that are out in front of him, her back to me. she starts to take off her jackets, layers. the boy whispers something to her. she doesn't even turn her head.

"just get out."

"but.. where am i.."

"go"

All the while she continues to undress, him starting to help her, he looks around her waste and a sadistic smile spreads across his face. i stand there, unsure what to do.

"go away!" she yells

I turn, grab only the bag ive brought and walk out the cabin door. its cold. of course. it hits like a tonne of bricks and i almost turn back, but she said go away. now that is the one thing i cant stand, could never stand, not from her. i walk, for hours, down the mountain. i fall constantly. over and over. not one car passes me and not a sound reaches me. all i can hear is the crunch of this bloody snow and my breaths as they get colder and colder.

I do get to the bottom. i make it plainly by memory from there, until i get bars on my phone. i call my father, tell him where i am and sit down beside the road. next thing i know im in a hospital bed, they tell me they found me half covered in snow and unconscious. i had caught hypothermia due to me having been drinking and the extreme cold. it was bad, so i was kept in the hospital for 3 or so weeks.

When i got out i was met with instant confusion. my friend had been trying to get hold of me. she had "needed" me. this boy had taken her virginity and had been gone the next morning. when she had searched him out he had claimed not to know her. made her feel like a fool she said. so soon after getting out, i was taken to town, for treats i think.

She found me in town, confronted me, abused me for not being there for her, for skipping out before her bday night was over. the entire time i kept quiet until she tried to blame me leaving on myself. standing at my full height i told her exactly why i hadnt been there when she awoke, that i hadn't been here for her for the 3 weeks due to the fact she sent me out to freeze to death. that i was glad he'd done this to her, that she had been a fool. that i was in her life way before this boy and would be there long after he left and yet she abused that, she ruined what good thoughts and hopes i had of her.

As i told her these things, her expression changed. anger to pain, tears, she crumbled, was on her knees in minutes, pleading, begging me to take her back, to love her again. and all the while i looked down on her. she was in such a pitiful state..





And my eyes opened.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Meaning of 10 - 11 / 4 / 10

-- To see a black or dark horse in your dream, signifies mystery, wildness, and the unknown. You may be taking a chance or a gamble at some unknown area. It may even represents occult forces. If the horse is white, then it signifies purity, prosperity and good fortunes. To dream that you are being chased by a white horse, may be a pun on chaste. Perhaps you are having difficulties dealing with issues of intimacy and sexuality.

-- To dream that you are riding a horse, suggests that you are in a high position or position of power. Alternatively, it indicates that you will achieve success through underhanded means. You lack integrity. If you are riding a horse that is out of control, then it signifies that you are being carried away by your passions.

-- To see a knight in your dream, signifies honor, protection and security. The knight can be seen as a savior or someone who sweeps you off your feet, as in the "knight in shining armor".

-- To dream that you are in front of an audience, represents the world around you and it is paying close attention to your actions. Alternatively, it suggests your fears of having your personal feelings and private thoughts discovered or revealed. If the audience is rowdy or noisy, then it suggests cluttered thoughts and confusion of ideas.

-- To see a group in your dream, refers to the merging of various aspects of your character and personality.

-- To find gold in your dream, indicates that you have discovered something valuable about yourself. This may be some hidden talent or knowledge.

-- To see a building in ruins or damaged, indicates that your approach toward a situation or relationship is all wrong. You need to change. Your own self-image may have suffered and taken some blow.

-- To dream that someone else is in prison, signifies an aspect of yourself that you are unable to express freely.

-- To see a convict in your dream, indicates that an aspect of yourself is unable to freely express itself.

-- To dream that you are jumping, indicates that you need to take a risk and go for it. You will find progress toward your goals. Consider the metaphors "jumping for joy" or "jumping the gun". How you feel in the dream will provide additional significance and meaning to your dream.

Oh My Dear Flightless Knight

10 - 11 / 4 / 10





I start off on a horse. i must be some sort of warrior because i have a sword at my side and im chasing down another person on a horse. my own beast is brown, deep dark brown and when i catch up to the steed in front of me, the rider is no longer on it and its pure white. im not sure why but it fascinates me and i chase it for longer.

as when we turn and head back there is a group of people in front of me. they unsettle me for some reason, and its not until im closer that i realize they're all looking at me and i no longer have a horse. im making clip clop noises and half skipping ha

then i pass the people and im on my horse again. i start to turn a corner of a street and i notice gold below me on the ground. i somehow lean down and scoop up these weird shaped pieces of gold such as disks, small coin shapes, prisms and cubes of gold. i gather every piece, about 10 in all and continue on.

while i was picking them up i didn't look up once even though i had a horrible feeling of deceit and mistrust. as i looked up after getting the gold, i had turned into a run down alley with a small building at the end. its about two stories high and has a long window full of bars and faces at the top. one man, bigger than the rest, leans out a more open window and tries to get me to buy food. i say nothing as he keeps trying.

one of the other faces, an old lady holds out a small sack and tells me to take whatever i like, for free. im not sure why but i do. i open the sack and its full of pebbles. but then the pebbles shift and i see other junk below it. a lamp, markers, a big highlighter? i take a few things, even though i only have a tiny bag and its already full of gold, and pass it back. another face, a man talks to me for a bit.

then ive turned and have trotted into a car park of sorts. then a man appears behind me and tells me he can make me fly. but i doubt him and as he teaches me, i lose my horse and as i jump as he instructs me, i only jump high and then come straight down. try as i might i cant stay in the air. after so many tries, the man just shakes his head and i wake up.




Sort of sad.. i love to fly in my dreams but lately i just cant seem to manage it.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Fists, shattered bones and stitches

9 - 10 / 4 / 10





This dream is a little harder to remember.

I was taken into a group that focused souly on becoming stronger, a sort of fighting group that could strengthen you mentally and physically.

There were a lot of people in it i knew but couldn't quite remember how as well as quite a few i didn't know. at first they just tried to make us faster, stronger and smarter. i was the only new person in it but they didn't slow down or let up, they actually sped everything up, trying to discourage me i guess.

The leader of the group was a rather rough looking man, big, not old but commanded authority. he threw me into fights after that. it was all out fist and weapon battles, the weapons only being things that could be thrown or swung. the first i watched, a man breaking another mans arms and leg, ribs and something else but none of us could really tell.

Then i was thrown into my first. I broke the guys (yes, i was the only girl so im not sure what was going on there) shoulder and lower leg so he was down before he could inflict any real damage on me. That guy disappeared quickly and i was thrown into another. this guy was much much bigger, and within the first 5 minutes, somehow managed to shatter my jaw and had somewhere else on my head bleeding. oh but somehow i beat him. i cannot remember what due to the head injuries the guy gave me, my memory cut from the hits he gave me to the end of the fight.

But the leader was determined to push me. he got everyone to gather around closer and told me because i had taken such a hard and easily avoidable (i swear there was no missing it) hit, that i was just as bad as the loser. and that they had rules for when someones jaw was broken or shattered. the boys cheered, it must have been a sort of game to them. what he wanted me to do is chew CHEW a sack full of snakes, each being about as long as my forearm. there was no point but the pain id be feeling, what with the live snakes biting my tongue or cheeks if i hesitated and actually having to chew with a shattered jaw.

I managed it, unsure how ha but i did, although im told i screamed out in my sleep quite a few times. after that i had my lower jaw laced/stitched to my upper jaw so i couldn't move it and some sort of bandage put across my lips, hiding the stitches on the outside as well (they did the lacing right there, no anesthetic, no panadol, nothing.



but i guess the shock of looking into a mirror after that and seeing the lacing, the blood-stained bandage on my head and my mouth as well as how deathly white my face was and how shocked and wide my eyes were, were enough to scare me awake.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

To Wake Up Dazed

8-9 / 4 / 10



The first i remember is a group and i walking to a big public pool. the pool reminds me jointly of the launceston cataract gorge and the old wind mill hill public pool. we swam for ages, around people i knew but did not. i sat for ages under the water too but i had to come up time and time again for air. most of that part of the dream was underwater.

Then i was led around the back of the swimming pool buildings by a friend or a man, i cannot be sure, to meet this seemingly sweet man. it turned out that he was a leader of a sort of mafia. i cant quite decide what his nationality was but he didnt seem to be from where we were. he specialized in using big BIG needles to get what he wanted. i mean this guy sat there deminstrating it by putting one through his lip. he didn't flinch at all. like he was getting a piercing. i watched as he put another through a mans tongue and ripped it forward, giving the man a forked tongue and so for that moment was unable to speak through the blood.

For some reason, the mafia leader then got up to go take care of "business" inside the building next to us, we were outside in some sort of courtyard, which looked alot like a temple. i followed him, i think because i was worried for the person he was meeting. he did not know i was following and yet i cannot remember ever seeing who i was following. i stopped before a door, hearing his footsteps on stairs behind it. but i froze. i couldn't go further. i couldn't even touch the door. the noises stopped and i turned and ran back. not 10 seconds after id returned, he had also come back, asking me if i had followed him through the door. i told him i hadn't even touched the door and he seemed pleased.

From there i was somehow in a theater before or just starting into a performance. the room and seats were full of people and beside me was a very close friend of mine. i cannot recall what but i was doing/making/setting up something for her. then i looked around, noticing alot of people had gone, the show, whatever it may have been, had finished too. some people walked in, wearing black. they moved towards my friend, explaining that she had to go with them. we were both upset, me over loosing her company, her over leaving me. she asked me to stand. hugging me she said she loved me, like always. i must have made some sort of noise giving away that i didnt believe her, or that it was nothing compared to the returned love. she pulled me back a little and kissed me for the briefest moment, but i felt the warmth of her lips long after. then she was gone.

Then i again, awoke.

--

Meaning

You are forcing yourself to deal with your emotional difficulties.

This indicates that you are experiencing some inner conflict and turmoil.

If it is close friend, then it represents your respect and adoration for your friend. You are seeking some intimate closeness that is lacking in some waking relationship. It may or may not signify a romantic interest for him or her.

To feel warmth in your dream, signifies contentment and satisfaction in your accomplishments. It also symbolizes hope and unconditional love.

The First To Share

7-8 / 4 / 10



Aliens of a sort have somehow managed to make it onto the planet with no "peace" in mind. They plan to change every human on the planet into their kind without anyone knowing. So they used a skyscraper, one of those big bloody things.. don't ask why, or how they avoided detection -.-' i dont know ha, but yes they used it as headquarters. they'd have people come in for certain business help and they'd come back out pretty much the same on the outside but more stiff, shocked almost. it wasnt till later i found out but basically what they did was get them to look into a light, a weird light turquoise coloured light that turned their DNA to alien, they were basically aliens in skin, they were still in there but forced to listen to the alien instincts. then when the flow of people into the building slowed they went out themselves. they started with children outside, which is how they come across me and my friends. one of them cornered us in a house and forced us to look at a hand held version of this light. i was desperately stalling. the hand held had an alarm that detected human DNA so if i just made it flash and not look, it made a noise and the alien got rougher. at this time i knew where the aliens situated themselves and couldn't tell the government (that knew they were here but just not where) where they were if i was made alien, so i scrunched up my eyes and flashed the light again. it worked but much slower, so i had time to find people that needed to know where they were.

Then i awoke ha.